Recently, I was researching best practices for treating addiction and I came across this phenomenal TEDTalk given by Johann Hari. (I will add the link to that talk below. ) In this talk he suggested that drug addiction was driven by the inability to connect.  He used Portugal as an example. They had a huge heroin problem and after trying the "American way" of punishing drug addicts, it did not get better. They decided to decriminalize addiction, and use the funds they would have used on prosecution, to invest in  job training. They wanted to give the addicts a reason to get up in the morning. Ultimately, it seemed what the addicts needed most, was to feel like a part of the community. They needed to feel connected. He proposes that, "The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection". That idea resonated with me, and as I thought about the addicts in my life, it made a of of sense. 
      The idea that connection could be such a powerful, healing aide in the treatment of addiction, made me wonder where else connection could serve as a healer. I immediately thought of race relations. A few years ago, I bought a house in an "up and coming neighborhood". I had this awesome neighbor who seemed to really connect to the young Black teenage boy who lived across the street from him. My neighbor and this boy, at first glance, did not seem to have a lot in common. My neighbor lived in a renovated house in the neighborhood, was a college graduate, had a good job; while this teenager was likely living in poverty, in a run down house in which he sometimes had to sleep on the porch because there was not enough room for him. For whatever reason they connected, and once that connection deepened, I noticed my neighbor seemed to gain insight and empathy about what it means to be a Black in America. I'm not sure he would have been able to gain this insight without this connection. What if everyone purposefully and intentionally sought to make a connection with someone, who at first glance, seemed nothing like them? It seems that this tiny push of connecting with just one other person, could be what we need to heal as a county. 
        I believe that connection extends beyond healing addiction and race relationships. I believe that connection is a powerful, often untapped, natural healer to many of the troubles we see in the world. Think about ways to connect with others. When you feel like withdrawing, choose to connect instead, and watch how healing connection can be. Reach out to those who do not want to connect, because connection is likely exactly what they need! Also check out this lovely video that illustrates how moving connection and inclusiveness can be: 

Here is the link to the TEDTalk I referenced: 

​https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong#t-859418

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A couple of days ago, I had a long talk with my Sister. Anyone who knows her, knows that she has a strong personality. She is opinionated, resilient, hard-working, and knows how to make things happen. She was feeling tired because it seems as though she is always put in a position in which she has to pick up the slack for someone else, who lacks the skills she has. I understood how she felt because I have found myself in a similar position many times. I have had people let me take the lead, do all the work, etc., because they knew I could handle it. At times, this can feel like a burden. As the one who is too often leaned on, it can feel like things would be so much easier if I did not have these gifts, because I could just sit around and let other people take care of the "hard stuff".  I let my Sister know that I knew how she felt and I reminded her that sometimes our gifts can feel like a burden, but we need to use them anyway. I also reminded her that her gifts were a good thing, something to be grateful for, and that in those moments that they felt like burdens, to remember this and take a moment to be grateful.

So, to anyone reading this blog entry, use your gifts, be proud of your gifts, and most importantly, be grateful for your gifts. Your gifts may mean more work for you or more responsibility, but be proud that you are capable! Also, please know that some people have not been blessed with the gifts that you have, and therefore do not have the capacity to do the things you can. Recognize that, and try not to judge them (I know that's hard!). Some people are doing the best they can with what they have.