I am a Feminist AND a Proud Wife

In honor of International Women's Day, one of my favorite feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, posted this quote on Facebook, "Never speak of marriage as an achievement", followed by #WeShouldAllBeFeminist. I was immediately taken aback. You see, I am a strong woman, and I come from a long line of strong women, and I am proud of that, but I am equally proud of who I am as a wife. I am very proud to say that marriage is one of my greatest achievements.

My husband was paralyzed in a diving accident five years ago, and the wife/woman/mother that I have had to be to get us through these last five years, is the epitome of a feminist! I am all for female empowerment. I am all for equal rights, both socially and economically, but we are going to a very dangerous place if we start prescribing to the idea that you cannot be both an amazing wife AND a feminist. In a previous blog post, I spoke about the importance of connection, and I fear that ideas like this, jeopardize connection. We are headed towards this extremely individualistic society, that places importance on how well we do in our careers, how many degrees we have,  and other external successes, while deemphasizing the importance of the connections and relationships we build. A recent 75 year Harvard study looked at what it takes to live a happy and fulfilled life. They tracked a diverse group of people, some well to do, and others not so well to do, and they found that the key to  fulfilled life was CONNECTION. At the end of the day, money, careers, possessions, etc. were not fulfilling. It was all about the quality of relationships. 

As a feminist, I would like to empower women to include being a wife and/or mother, along with other achievements, as a equal part of their definitions of themselves. Who we are and what we must do as wives, deserves an equal place on that list! Brag about who you are as a wife AND what a boss you are at work. The beauty of feminism is that it empowers women to be exactly who they choose to be. I choose to be a bomb wife, a fierce mother, AND strong woman. I do not have to pick, I can be all three! Creating and defining my family, is and will always be my GREATEST achievement. 

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