I just had an interesting discussion that lead me to write this latest blog post. A person I love and adore shared that her co-worker felt comfortable enough with her to share that he only accepts truths that directly affect him. She met him with no judgement and shared that a lot of people feel/think that way. I shared my curiosity about his plans to address this now that he has this insight, and a short debate ensued. Basically the debate boiled down to the concept that looking outside ourselves may be a personal priority of mine, but that I cannot assume it is a priority to others, nor should I impose my personal priorities onto anyone else.

As a therapist, I work really hard to NOT impose my beliefs onto others. I understand that what is good for me may not be good for someone else. My ultimate goal is to help my clients understand what works for THEM. I check my ego and my beliefs at the door. So being challenged to think about whether looking outside ourselves is a personal belief versus a universal truth, got me thinking. 

Gaining the ability to look outside of ourselves and our circumstances feels like it should be something that we ALL strive for. To me, it feels like something that is applicable universally. We have the choice to stay within our narrow view of the world or explore the immense beauty that surrounds us. That narrow view feels so limited and restrictive. It's like choosing to live in jail cell, when you have the option to be free. Why would you want to limit yourself? Why wouldn't I want to help people break free of that jail cell? I just don't see it as a personal priority, I see it as a necessity to move to a more enlightened state as a people. If we stay looking inward, I just don't see how we can collectively move forward. It's this thought process that leads me to encourage everyone to look outside themselves.

I do not want to live in a world full of people locked in. I want us all learning, listening, and understanding. When the majority of people do this, that is when we'll see real change in this world. I also believe that the majority of us are capable of looking outside ourselves, as long as there is not a personality/mood disorder or other impairment that directly affects this ability. 

So, what do you think? Am I right to encourage this or am I imposing my personal views on others?

Let's talk gratitude. When times are good, gratitude comes easy. The only thing you need to look out for in good times, is remembering not to take anything for granted, but outside of that, let the good times roll! Right? But what happens when things are not going so good? What happens when you have lost your job? What happens when you are struggling financially? What happens when there is so much pain, your vision is blurry with tears? How do you find gratitude? How do you express it? This is where the challenge lies. When one bad thing after another hits, and you are left feeling alone and forgotten, how can you possibly be grateful for anything? I know what that feels like. I know what it is like to feel like nothing is going right. In my darkest night, something strange happened. I found myself in tears, overwhelming, nonstop tears. The surprise here was that those tears stemmed from an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It caught me by surprise. How was I feeling this much gratitude during the worst time of my life?

Dark times, pain, and suffering show us who we really are, and they help us identify what is important in our lives. Darkness pulls out the light. Darkness makes the light stand out, like a lighthouse in the middle of the night. Seeing the light, being drawn to the light to escape the dark, shows you what is really important, what really matters, and you find things to be grateful for. During my darkest times, I took respite in the light. I basked in its glow and it gave me the fuel I needed to trudge through the dark again. That's what gratitude can do. It can replenish you when are feeling low. It can change your perspective. It can turn you towards the light, and that is why it so important. 

So, I leave you with this. Please look for the light in your dark times. The light may be hard to find and it may be faint, but please keep looking, because finding the light is that important. Finding the light can be just the thing that gets you through the darkness.